Amanda Baudier - How to Unlock Joy in Life and Work

Jason sits down with Amanda Baudier, who journeyed from New York City's nightlife scene to embracing a life centered around mindfulness, health, and well-being. Amanda shares the tale of how a heart condition at 28 became the catalyst for a personal and professional transformation.

"It's not just about surviving; it's about thriving with awareness and joy."

• Amanda's Early Life and Career: Dive into Amanda's early career in the high-stakes world of NYC nightlife and her rapid ascent to success.
• Wake-Up Call: Learn about the critical health scare that prompted Amanda to reassess her lifestyle and career choices.
• Path to Healing: Explore the steps Amanda took towards recovery, including embracing mindfulness, yoga, and stress reduction techniques.
• Whole Person Coaching: Discover how Amanda's experiences inspired her to become a whole person executive coach, helping others balance success with well-being.
• Parenting Philosophy: Gain insight into Amanda's unique approach to parenting, shaped by her personal journey towards mindfulness and presence.
• Daily Practices: Amanda shares simple, yet powerful daily practices that anyone can adopt to live a more mindful and fulfilling life.

Amanda Baudier is an Executive Coach and Spiritual Guide who helps clients unlock joy in life & work. A multidisciplinary teacher, Amanda had an illustrious career in NYC, leading industry-defining businesses like Tao Group, Sakara Life and Melissa Wood Health before launching her own business. 

After extreme burnout required her to have heart surgery at the age of 28, she dove deep into the world of holistic healing --  gaining certifications in a wide range of modalities including MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction), Somatic Experiencing, Yoga Therapy, Meditation, Holistic Health, and more. 

A graduate of Columbia University, Amanda received her Executive Coaching certification from NYU, and has trained with luminaries in the spiritual world including Tara Brach and Jack Kornfeld. 

In addition to her private coaching practice, Amanda teaches mindfulness, leads joy-centered retreats, and is  the co-host of the Full Plate Full Cup podcast.

She now resides in the Shawangunk Mountains, with her husband and 2 kids -- just 2 hours but a far cry from NYC.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandabaudier/
https://www.instagram.com/amandabaudier/
http://www.amandabaudier.com

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Transcript

Jason Frazell: 0:12

Everybody my guest on this show today is Amanda Baudier. Amanda is a whole person executive coach. We're going to talk about what that means She's a mom, she's a podcaster, she's a spiritual teacher, and I have to say this, she's almost my neighbor, which does not happen often on this show. I've talked to people in Asia, a lot of people in the EU, California. We both live in the Catskills, which is not That common, we're, we're, we're a whopping one County apart. So we're like, so we're actually like same time zone. We're dealing the same weather. I could drive and see you in like an hour and a half, which is really cool. And we don't, and we didn't know each other until 15 minutes ago. So Amanda, welcome. So good to have you here.

Amanda Baudier: 0:51

Thanks so much. Thanks for having me.

Jason Frazell: 0:54

Yeah. So we're going to talk about a variety of things today, but Amanda, you know, I was really, really intrigued by your story. Because you've gone through quite a transformation in your life, like, like most of us have, but you really had some pretty impactful things happen to you at a pretty young age. So let's start is a little bit about your background, what you were doing in your twenties and like what the moment of reckoning was for you that has you here in a podcast. Telling us your whole pro, whole person executive coach Yeah. Because you probably didn't imagine that back in the day. So

Amanda Baudier: 1:23

you know, I, I, I, you know, I was, I was on a fast track somewhere back in the day, but I didn't think it was here. So, yeah. You know, I was your in many ways typical overachiever. Ivy League student. I graduated a semester early. I was in New York City at Columbia University. And I just had I had a real driving desire to be successful and to make a name for myself and to matter, which I think most people that moved to New York City, right? There's a, there's a piece of that. They want to be successful. Somebody they want to make a name for themselves. And so I very early in arriving to New York city stumbled upon the party scene and the nightlife scene and thought, wow, this is a great way to be somebody. Like if you can do this, like you are, you're somebody. And at that time what is now tau group, which many people may have heard of, it's a global billion dollar, you know, hospitality business. It was sort of just getting off the ground. They had a tau, the restaurant and marquee, the nightclub had just opened. And I applied to be their intern. The, the, the guys that, yeah, I applied to be the intern. I was a junior at Columbia and they, they hired me. They were shocked that an Ivy league kid wanted to come work at a nightclub, but I knew that these guys were like the movers and shakers in the industry. If I wanted to get in, these were the people to be in with. Right. And so really like, as soon as I started working for them, I was going to work every day from nine to five unpaid internship, mind you. And then back in the day, we didn't, you know, they didn't pay us back in the day. And then going to classes at Columbia from 610 to 855. So basically two like hour and a half, you know, classes every night which meant after that it was. studying. It was homework. It was partying. It was nightlife. And I kept up that pace for many, many years. I graduated early to get a job with them. I became a partner when I was 27. And the next year I was going to a routine doctor checkup. And my doctor said, Amanda, your pulse is completely erratic. You need to go to a cardiologist right now. And I was like, what are you talking about? I'm fine. I was vegan. I was, I was actually a certified yoga teacher and a vegan at this time. I was like in great shape. You know, quote unquote thriving. I mean, I was quite stressed and quite, you know, working crazy hours, but in my mind, I was crushing it and many other people's minds. I was crushing it. And you know, to kind of cut to the chase of many, many doctor's appointments, my heart was skipping every third beat. So highly, highly erratic arrhythmia, very dangerous. Could have dropped dead pretty much at any second. And I, I was having fainting spells and things, but I didn't really think there was anything wrong with me, which sounds crazy, but you know, it's like people go undetected with these things. So. I had to get heart surgery, not open heart surgery, but a catheter ablation. And at the time, you know, there was a lot of talk of, well, you need to take this medication forever. You need to get on a pacemaker. And I was like, what the, you know, can I cuss? You

Jason Frazell: 4:23

can definitely cuss, please do.

Amanda Baudier: 4:25

What the fuck? You know, I felt, I had so much shame because. I would be in the doctor's office and everyone there was like 75. It was like these old people whose hearts were giving out, you know? And it's me, I'm 28 and my high heels and my phone in one hand and my Blackberry in the other. And I'm like, I gotta hurry, I gotta get back to work, you know? And you know, the amount that I was working, the stress, the anxiety, It's the late nights and of course, you know, all of our bodies are different. Some people suffer from gut health issues when they're overstressed. Some people it's mental health, right? I was, I was sort of mentally, emotionally quote unquote fine, but my heart could not keep up with the pace of the way that I was working. And so I made the decision to take a sabbatical. And as I mentioned, I was already a trained yoga teacher, which is pretty fucking hilarious. You know this stressed out, burned out yoga teacher, you know New York city yoga teachers. That's who we are. And during that year I got certified in MBSR, which is mindfulness based stress reduction. This is a school of thought developed by John Kabat Zinn at Harvard. So sort of clinical mindfulness. I went to Institute of integrative nutrition. became a certified holistic health coach. I got a Reiki certification. I did an integrative yoga therapy certification. I mean, I really, I call it like my study abroad year in being a well person, but I really, really went deep into really understanding, okay, how do I not kill myself? Like, how do I, not die. And, and what's interesting is at that time, I knew nothing about the nerve. I had no idea what the nervous system was. I didn't know about vassal vagal theory and the connection between, you know, the, the mind body and, and all of that stuff. I had vague, vague understanding of it from my yoga studies, but I learned so much in that year that I was able to bring back when I, you know, when I came back to New York city and was like, Oh, I, I want to still be a working person. I still want to be successful. I just don't want to kill myself while doing it. So, you know, you know, what I'll say is I think a lot of people get mini wake up calls. I'm actually kind of lucky that I got such a big one. There was, there was no playing around for me. I knew that I had to change my life. In order to keep living my life, I, you know, it wasn't like, Oh, my acne got really bad or like, Oh, I'm like, I'm not pooping every day. You know, no, I had heart surgery. So yeah,

Jason Frazell: 6:50

you had heart surgery. Yeah.

Amanda Baudier: 6:51

Yeah. Yeah.

Jason Frazell: 6:53

Oh, that's I have so many questions. I think the, the, the, the, the main thing that pops up for me is how much of that. You said you felt fine, a lot, but you also had fainting spells. I'll speak, I like, I'm gonna speak for myself. There's been times in my life where you tell yourself, Oh, I'm totally fine. But when you look back, you're like, Oh my gosh, there were so many signs. Anybody who was fainting should probably go get something checked out. Or the fact that you were feeling a certain thing. What part about That story I'm trying to think how to say this. Smells like bullshit No, no, it's like it's like it's like I'm picturing your drive Just masking this whole other thing that was actually going on like you're insatiable It's like an insatiable desire for success that just has you Just ignore your body. And now that you're more of a body, like, you know, this.

Amanda Baudier: 7:50

Yeah. Yeah.

Jason Frazell: 7:52

I'm going to get clinical.

Amanda Baudier: 7:53

Yeah. I'm going to get clinical with you for a second. So I'm, I'm also, I'm in my third year of a certification in something called somatic experiencing, which is sort of like the gold standard for trauma informed nervous system care. So, you know, everybody's familiar at this point with fight flight freeze. And when our nervous system is highly activated, it hijacks the other systems. Such as rest and digest, right? So that is why so many people, when they're in extended chronic stress, fight mode, flight mode, whatever your kind of natural thing is, your body stops digesting food while you can't sleep, right? You have those types of health concerns. There is another. layer. And so what I had was called basal vagal syncope, which was basically I was fainting because my heart wasn't rushing blood to my brain quickly enough. And the reason for that was because my nervous system thought that there were other more important things it needed to do. Like my nervous system was insane. such chaos that it actually thought that like, we can't do this. Like just, it's like a, it's like a extreme flight response. Just pass out. Right. So animals in the wild do this. Right. But the crazy thing is, you know, now I'm an executive coach. I have other clients who experienced this same thing. Totally. And, you know, what I had told myself back then, which is also true is that I have low, I just have low blood pressure. Oh, I just didn't eat enough today. Oh, you know, of course. Yeah. But, but our, our nervous system, it is responsible for so much more than we even realize. And like, if people take anything away from this episode, it's like, Oh, my God. Go research your nervous system. Not on Tik TOK, although there's good people, there's good people out there, but like, like research your nervous system and really get an understanding of like, ha, this has been running my whole life and I maybe didn't understand just how much control it had over me.

Jason Frazell: 9:46

Yeah, Amanda, thank you for sharing all that. I want to I want to do a call back here to an episode I did with my my friend. Dr. Eugene Choi a few weeks ago, and he he's a coach as well He's a he's actually a pharmacist by trade and he's done a lot of neurological studies neurology is his thing and He talks a lot about Your executive state and your survival state and in your survival state of the fight, flight or freeze response and how a lot, a lot of the things in culture that are attributed to like powerful ways of working are actually just a fight, flight or freeze response. Yeah, my assertion would be, and I, from knowing you for a whole like 25 minutes now, I guess you're gonna agree this. It sounds like you're in your survival state almost all the time.

Amanda Baudier: 10:31

100%.

Jason Frazell: 10:33

You're like, you're pretty much your fight state of like driven. Fight the fight state of that

Amanda Baudier: 10:38

100%. And then when my body couldn't do anymore, I would go into a severe state of flight, which would be passing out. Right. And and, and, you know, like, more people are experiencing this than realized just because they didn't have, like I said, as extreme of a wake up call as me, they're experiencing it in smaller ways. And so it's easier to have it go undetected.

Jason Frazell: 10:57

Yeah, so obviously you're extremely intelligent, you talked about the things you've done, your education, you went to a great school, I'm just going to assume that means, assume that means a little something about you, not as much as maybe we'd make it out to be, but it means something. Looking back now at all the education that you, that you at the time had done, was your, was your creativity limited by operating in that survival state? Because that's usually the first thing that goes.

Amanda Baudier: 11:22

You know. When I think back about the person that I was at that stage, not just creativity, but all functioning that required actual presence, so real joy, real connection, real creativity when we are in A highly activated, dysregulated nervous system state, we almost like, you know, the saying, we don't know what we don't know we get so disconnected from the parts of us that are able to, you know, like, so the, the, the more regulated state, right? It's connection. It's rest. It's a more, you know, in, in just like in our biology, right? When we're, when we're regulated, we have a really wide purview, right? Our, our peripheral vision is online. And when we're in fight mode, it's like, we can only see the laser in front of us. And and I, and I want people to know that like when you're in that state, it's not a choice. It's not like you're intentionally saying, no, I want to, I'm this driven and I only want to focus on this. And I'm, you know, your nervous system makes it feel like you don't have any other option. And so, you know, I, I work with a lot of people now who are kind of in, in that state and trying to get out of that state. I have so much compassion for it because gosh, it, it, it's, it's a prison.

Jason Frazell: 12:53

It's extremely useful in certain circumstances. It's just wildly useful. Like you said, yeah, you're a parent. I'm a parent. You see your kid about to get into danger. I don't want to be creative about what I'm going to do. I want to be able to do that without any thinking. My guess is if I was to I coach a lot of these similar people too. It was kind of me in my 20s as well. I'm I'm picturing if I was to go back and interview people who knew you then, they'd be like, she'll run through a fucking brick wall to get it done, she's reliable, she'll get it done, she's gonna be awesome at it, but like, hard to connect with, and not a lot of like, visionary thinking. Cause that's generally the survival state you go to.

Amanda Baudier: 13:32

You know, what's interesting about me and well, I, you know, I'm also studying to be a trauma therapist, so we can go to the trauma side too I, they often refer to me as a machine because of the sheer level of output that I was able to, you know, I was able to do the work of four or five people, no problem, but I'm also a performer, and so I was very able to have people feel like they could connect with me, I wasn't actually connecting with people. So it is very, if you have a certain type of personality, if you're a performer and a people pleaser you can put on, you know, and I did sales for a global hospitality firm. I was charming as fuck. I wasn't allowing people to see me or know me. I wasn't experiencing, you know, deep, intimate connection. And so, and that's also, you know, quite, quite damaging as well to feel like nobody really knows you, but gosh, you're so popular.

Jason Frazell: 14:28

Yeah. Hmm. Now you're, so you're a parent now and I think your kids are on there. Your kids aren't, They're still in elementary school or younger. So they're, they're moving through the last, what I would say, the less driven part of academics as a younger age, but it's not too far off where they're going to start to think about high school, college, that competitiveness of that. Yeah. And that is such masculine energy to me on the outside looking at it. We have kids that are about the same age of like, It's all about the performance and how you do it. I'm curious as a, as a parent, how do you look at that now, knowing what, you know?

Amanda Baudier: 15:03

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty funny. I mean, I I've gone, I don't want to say completely into the opposite direction, but I'm gonna give you a quote by Deepak Chopra that kind of summarizes my, my thinking on parenting, which is he said, if my kid was excelling at tennis and. getting, you know, flunking at math. I wouldn't get him a math tutor. I'd get him a tennis coach. And so, you know, what he's saying there is like, you should work hard and you should put effort forth and you should develop skills and talents, but not in this sort of like, maniacal, everything has to be perfect, straight A kind of way. And look, like, that is not necessarily congruent with what society typically and historically has valued. However, what you and I know as entrepreneurs, and my husband is also an entrepreneur, is that it doesn't matter if you got a 4. 0 in high school, if you have a skill or a talent that you are that you have mastery in, that you develop, that you commit yourself to, that you are earnest and hardworking and dependable. And I would rather see my children. excel in something that they have a natural aptitude gift and love for, then get like straight A's across the board. And if that means, you know, they go to a different type of college than I went to, look, I went to Columbia. My husband went to Columbia. I don't give a shit where my kids go to college, to be honest with you. It's a different, it's a different era. It also doesn't it's not something that I feel would make me feel particularly proud or unproud if they wanted to do it and they were, you know, and they had the skills and the grades and the scores. I wouldn't say, no, I don't want you to go there. That's an elite, you know, organization, whatever. But I'm not going to be, you know, like, I'm like, God bless my parents. But my, my dad would like, refer to us as like, where, where we went to college. I've got the Duke, the Yale, and the Columbia, you know, like those are the, the, the three kids. And like, look, my dad grew up, he didn't have a dad, he was dirt, dirt, dirt poor. Both my parents were dirt, dirt, dirt poor. So like that sort of immigrant success story of, of, of, you know, kids going to a good college. But guess what? It was fucked up. I've been doing trauma healing and therapy for, you know, 20 years and so have my siblings. And so. You know, and, and, and I don't know that all of that struggle and that pushing and that necessitation of the perfect SAT scores and all of that. I don't know if that actually, you know, got me any further along in life than I would have if I had been happier and more regulated and just allowed to pursue my own. Passions. So, you know,

Jason Frazell: 17:49

I love it. Yeah. I have another parenting question. I'm being selfish because I'm asking, I'm asking you a question, but I'm asking you, and then I want to, I want to talk, the next thing I want to talk about is happiness. Cause I know something you work a lot with clients on and have had your own journey that you started to share is your oldest is, was born in 2015. So they're either eight or eight or nine. Yep. What are the boy or girl boy, what are you seeing in his personality now? Cause I, we have an eight year old as well. I'm starting to see the personality come out in terms of the, the drive versus I think most kids are driven in some way, but what are you starting to spot in his personality that reminds you of yourself?

Amanda Baudier: 18:27

Yeah, there's things I see that are similar, and there's things that I see that are, that are very different. And I do think part of it is the difference in upbringing. A different type of attachment to a parent, a different type of response from a parent matters a lot. My son is obsessed with football, not just playing football, but every aspect of it. You could ask him any player, any team, he knows stats, he knows scores. And so I see the, the passion. He's also I, I, he considers himself to be the best in his class in math. You know, he's very like confident and excited about his ability in math. And so I'm going to plug my a friend of mine has a business called Curious Cardinals. And it's this program where you sign up a kid K through 12 with a college student and they do like a mentoring project with them where it's like some type of project that the kid helps design. Right. But I'm going to have him partner with someone to do like a sports scores analytics. program, right? Because I'm taking, okay, what is my kid obsessed with? What is he motivated by? Where does it intersect with something that actually is beneficial to like school and future and all that? And how can I make it interesting and fun and like, you know, push him further on the things that he's obsessed with. That to me feels like how I want to motivate my kid. And, and to be honest, like, I, this is, you know, I, I had a conversation with him a couple of weeks ago cause we did his like parent teacher conference. Right. Right. And I'm like, look, you're a little overly chatty if you didn't, you know, if you got to go to the bathroom and you didn't ask, I'm not going to get mad at you about stuff like that.

Jason Frazell: 20:01

Right. Don't be a, don't

Amanda Baudier: 20:01

be an asshole. Don't hurt anybody. And don't be an asshole. And you know, my, my feeling is like in the world that we live in now, the way that people become successful is so different than it used to be. None of the old shit. Like, it is guaranteed to work. So my thing is, if you're the type of people, type of people, type of person that people want to be around, it is so much more likely that you are going to be successful because people will want to have you on their team, whatever it is, right? And so I can have a kid who has good morals, you know, decent level of just like respect and, and you know, empathy for other humans and is happy. Right. Speaking of happiness, if he goes and applies for a job, he's going to be light years ahead of, you know, other, other people. So that's, that's my, my take. It's like double down on the shit that they're obsessed with and maybe not put as much pressure on them on the other stuff, as long as it's not like, you know, violence or

Jason Frazell: 21:03

being a

Amanda Baudier: 21:05

bully, right. You know, that type of stuff.

Jason Frazell: 21:07

Yeah, I think this is my, I'll give you a quick, my perspective on this with, with AI and a lot of the technology that's available now, the kind of the X, the pure expertise jobs is that valuable as valuable anymore. Totally. Like look, yeah. I mean, look at the thing, look at the things that 30 years ago were arguably the most valuable things that now, and I, and I, I had this experience on, have you seen the movie Oppenheimer?

Amanda Baudier: 21:34

No, no, I've heard I've read about it. Yeah.

Jason Frazell: 21:38

Yeah, but it went best picture. It's amazing But I was you know, like the the pure scientific Marvel that was in 1944 I think most of what they did you could probably plug into chat GPT and get an answer for now Yeah, and I mean they built a bomb they built a bomb that you know, like yeah, so it's amazing And it's not to say that there isn't there's a lot of room for the intellectualism and all those but like how you treat people Is the thing now? Yeah Yeah, totally. Yeah. So I wanna talk about the I want to talk about happiness and in a specific way here, Amanda. One thing that I hear. In my practice, I, we, we, we coach different types of folks, I think, or maybe we probably coach the same type of people. Here a lot is I don't have time. I don't understand the value and specifically in the realm of like combining your spiritual, like your spiritual practices or what that means to you with who you, I call that like who you are in the world. And then there's the, who you are in the world. And then there's the, what are you, or like your, your, you probably heard that your form and your function. And My form is this thing that is like not related to what I do and then it likely influences my function But you hear people go. I don't have time for that. I don't have time to meet with a coach I don't I don't have time to dig in on these things because I'm busy doing blank making money raising kids and Just to call it out This is for men and women, but my experience, especially with women is i'm not worth it I'm not worth actually investing in myself I'm not and i'm talking about like the time and energy part forget the money you could be a billionaire But like oh, you know what i'm not worth actually getting to know myself in that way Yeah from and i'm sure you hear this all the time So i'd love to just bring the conversation to the kind of work you do and things that you've learned for yourself Which it sounds like? And I, I love this'cause in personal brain, so I was like, the person you're best equipped to serve is a person you once were. Yeah. So you're like, oh, like, oh, you're like, you're like, there's Amanda. There's Amanda from five years ago, or Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you, so do you ever have the experience as a coach where you're like, oh, there's Amanda from yesterday?

Amanda Baudier: 23:38

Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, there's Amanda from today. There's Amanda from this morning, right? Yeah. You're, oh, wow.

Jason Frazell: 23:43

You're like, you're like, oh, wow. There's a saying in the coach training. I went, program went through. It's great. It's like generally your clients are, are usually like one step behind or one step ahead of you. Yeah, 100%. And as a coach. That's like, it's, and it's so fascinating where you're like, that's the exact same thing that I talked to my coach or my therapist about. Yeah. 100%.

Amanda Baudier: 23:59

100%. Yeah. So I'll start with sort of what I say to the most cynical of people or, or I would say even the most cynical, cause I used to be cynical. I used to be dark, man. I used to like, I used to think everything was. Like, so stupid. Like, Oh God, how cheesy is that? But I, I talk about something called pragmatic positivity. So what I mean by this is if you're running a business, if you're working at a company, right, there is a certain level of positivity that is required in, order for things to move forward and for them to move forward efficiently and well, right? Whether that's motivating other people, whether that's getting consumers to pick up what you're putting down, whether that is instituting enough confidence in colleagues or whatever to make people not be in a state of fear. Right. And so cultivating positivity can be done solely for pragmatic. Reasons when you are in a fully negative, fearful, judgmental, overwhelmed state, it is having negative impact on how how impactful you can be, right? Whether you're, you're running a team reporting to somebody, you know, whatever you're doing in life, if you are a negative sack of shit, like you are not getting the results that you could have. So I start with that, right? Even if you don't want to do it for any sort of personal development, altruistic, you know, reason, let's at least do it because your KPIs are suffering, right? Because your your, the copy that you're writing is not engaging your consumer because it's not, It's coming from a place of overwhelm, you know, unhappiness, et cetera, et cetera. So I start with that and, and that generally, cause some people come to me when the spark is like almost out, right? When they're like, Oh my God, you know, and that, You're my last

Jason Frazell: 25:57

hope, Amanda.

Amanda Baudier: 25:58

Yeah. Literally, literally. No pressure. No pressure. But, but when I talk about pragmatic positivity, so you're familiar with parts work, you've done therapy, right? And so I talk about parts work a lot in my coaching because there is a, there is a piece of you that is a cynical piece of shit. And it's going to think any love and light spiritual stuff is a bunch of BS. Totally. And you have to appease that part of you before the other parts of you can even come online for many of us, right? And so I talk about pragmatic positivity because I want someone to say, you know what, fuck, I do have to do this. Not because I want to be happy, even though they do but because my team, why do all my direct reports hate me? Right? Why, why am I not getting promoted or whatever the thing that's going wrong? And it's like, wow. Like. You can use positivity very strategically to like, you know, improve on key markers that are currently suffering. Right? So I start with that. So that the part of them that is cynical, that is totally burnt out, that is totally overwhelmed, that has no time for nonsense, right? Quote unquote nonsense. Well, listen, right? And then I generally, so in the world of somatic experiencing, right, we want people to sense what something feels like in their body. And I love to give people actions to do and just like, just do this and let me know how it feels. Just do it. Let me know how it feels. If you don't like it, great. I don't care. If you love it, amazing. We'll talk about it next time. Or I'll give people introspection prompts to like, think about how certain activities make them feel or not feel. And the thing is, what I believe about the human spirit and the human nature is that we are a moth to the flame. to the flame of joy, right? Like we are so drawn to it and we really want it. But there's so many things in the way. There's so many things blocking our ability to just gravitate towards it. And some of those we can't do anything about, right? Like not everything is like clear it away and Oh, like living in the perfect, you know, but, but many things are many things are, and some of the most Some of the most important things are very, very malleable. And so the thing is, is like, Once you get someone to just have a taste, see a glimmer, right, it is very easy. And that's why I have certain clients. Like when I work with someone who's like an active CEO of a company, they get on retainer. We work together years at a time, right? If someone has a specific project or a specific problem that they're trying to solve, I always tell them three months. That's all we need by the end of three months. You'll be able to do this yourself. Like, you know, I don't want to sit there and and have, you know, I mean, I love having nice conversations with people, obviously, but like, my goal is like, let me reignite the little spark and then you can keep that, that flame going. And maybe in a year, if you're like, Oh God, I totally lost that lost that momentum, but it's not like, I find that that joy cultivation is not like diet or exercise where it's actually like really easy to fall off the wagon when it comes to like working out or eating healthy, because there's a lot of pleasure that can come from eating unhealthy or sloth. Right. Whereas if I'm encouraging people, like something I love to tell people to do, which is so basic. Go for a phone free walk, just go for a phone free walk. Notice things 10 minutes is fine. Leave your phone behind and go for a walk. And people are like, that was amazing.

Jason Frazell: 29:44

They're like, Amanda, I was laughing because I was like, can I, can I still bring my Apple watch, but

Amanda Baudier: 29:51

that's the thing, you know, that's the thing. And and so once people do it I love to see like the light return to people. And I love people hopping onto a column being like, Oh my God, I did this. And then I knew that. And I, you know, and I'm like, yeah, this is, this is you, this is the real you coming back online, you know?

Jason Frazell: 30:10

Yeah. I have something to offer here around. One of the things that my, somebody I trained with one of the, my mentors, she said something to me. And she said, and she wasn't my coach, she was just like, like a training mentor, and I'm sure you run into this all the time because high performance people do this all the time, including myself. And she'd say, I'd ask you how you feel about something and you would give me a story or an explanation or you'd intellectualize it, but I haven't yet heard how you actually feel. And then she'd go, do you know how you feel? And I go, I'm not sure. Yeah. Like I can tell you. The story of why I might feel a certain way and I can like logically give you the, this is like the head based stuff, right? Of like, here's all the reasons, here's all the reasons why it's not going well at work. Like you, right. Have you ever had a client where you go, Hey Amanda, How's it going at work and they'll give you the all the stuff which is great You know, how do you feel about that? And then they'll continue to tell you the reasons why but they will not tell you how they feel about it And I yeah, you know and one of the things they say in therapy and coaching and you you spot it you got it I recognize it because I do it to myself Yeah, you're like you're like, yeah, but I'm not am I even pretty I know that I have a feeling but am I even present? To what that feeling totally? Yeah to me to me is somebody who's You I'm working on my spiritual journey. I was sharing a little bit with you before you record to me. That is the aspect of spirit, the spiritual journey that everybody should get access to.

Amanda Baudier: 31:39

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I I've been a spiritual student and a spiritual practitioner, spiritual teacher for a long time, even when I was a hot mess. You know, like I took Bob Thurman's class at Columbia when I was like 19 years old and was, you know, got really into yoga, got really into Hinduism, got really into Buddhism. I was Catholic growing up and actually like loved going to church and teaching Sunday school and singing in church and all of that stuff.

Jason Frazell: 32:03

Yeah.

Amanda Baudier: 32:04

And I, I, I, I've gone down a lot of different paths pretty deeply. And the way that I view and teach spirituality now is like the most simple, like this distilled version of spirituality, which is I want people to go out and look at their sky and put their feet on the sky. their ground and love that and see the plants that are growing where they are and the animals that are walking around in their area, even if it's a dog on a leash, right? It's like your connection to, you know, I used to exoticize it so much. You know, when I was on my sabbatical, I went to India and like, you know, was it all the temples in India? I've been to Bali. I did all of that stuff. And, you know, I enjoyed it. I have no problem with people who changed their name to Shakti and whatever, like do what feels right to you. But for me, I'm like, gosh, the holiest experiences that I've ever had is like holding my child's hand or like seeing the sky, you know, look a certain way. And when you look at like indigenous cultures and now like, you know, lots of people are, are, are we. Very, you know, sometimes problematically, but revisiting and understanding this sort of indigenous way of being in connection with the land and reciprocity and just the kind of like simple beauty of spirituality being infused to everything and every action and every day. And, you know, That doesn't require learning Sanskrit. It doesn't require wearing a certain outfit. It doesn't require, it doesn't require you to change anything about who you are, where you are, what you're doing, how you're saying it. It's noticing, noticing, appreciating, and then maybe like pausing just a little bit longer. And that is a, an amazing spiritual practice. Amazing. Pausing. Who has time to pause? No way.

Jason Frazell: 34:06

Certainly not me.

Amanda Baudier: 34:07

Yeah, you know, and the funny thing about about pausing is that it's kind of like like you feel sneaky at first, you know, you're like, Ooh, can I, is this, am I being bad? Can I do this? And then once you get away with it, you know, and you're like, Ooh. And so. going back to the pragmatic thing. I, I really try to reinforce with my clients and honestly, I still have to do it with myself, although now it's so part of who I am and what I do. My spiritual practices are quite extensive. I can

Jason Frazell: 34:38

imagine.

Amanda Baudier: 34:39

It makes you better in all the other facets of your life. It is not just it's not just fun. It doesn't just feel good, right? Like I would not be able to do the work that I do in the way that I do it if I were not. In stillness, if I were not going on my nature walks and doing my breath and my meditation, I wouldn't be the, I certainly would not be the parent that I am because parenting takes all of your capacity to show up and be present and be patient and be connected. It's so demanding energetically. And. You know, and, and if I didn't do my, if I didn't have my, my time pausing, I wouldn't be able to do those things. And do I like them and enjoy them? And are they fun? Yeah, that too. But if that's not enough for people, like, just know that it's gonna make you, you know, I can, and I can list all the famous people like Phil Jackson and whatever, you know, all these people that meditate. Well, why do they do it? It's not just because they have a lot of time on their hands.

Jason Frazell: 35:42

No, Phil Jackson's a Zen master. They called him Zen master. Yeah, that was his nickname. Yeah, his nickname. So Amanda, because I love when I get brilliant folks on my podcast like you, to steal some of your, steal some of your brilliance for free for people, and I don't say steal, but I would love to hear, I'd love to hear Let's say this is a call in show. I'm just making this up. It's a call in show. Somebody calls in. It says this all sounds amazing I don't know what to do next. What's the thing like let's say you have and maybe the context that does work or that's very Apropos for you is they hire you as their coach or they don't hire you as their coach for a million reasons But they say you know what? I just I need to get started somewhere. Yeah, what's the thing that people will go this all resonates? I know that I think most humans like we intuitively know there's a spirit thing whether or not it's religious But there's something that's about us and it gets killed for many of us myself included through Pressures work and parenting and all those things and they're like I want more access to that thing What's the thing you generally would say to somebody that feel that feels like even though we probably know they're not they're starting at all One, like they're starting at one. What do you have people do? Like, what's the first thing you have people start to practice?

Amanda Baudier: 36:55

Yeah. So there's two things I would say, and it will depend on what like one or the other would be more impactful, whether you're somebody who's more like body oriented or like mind verbal oriented. So. The first thing, which is more sort of body nervous system oriented, which is to think about nervous, your nervous system, like you brush your teeth. Right? So not that, not that you have to have some extended crazy routine or any special accessories, but you better fricking do it in the morning and at night or like you're going to have problems. Right? So can you, when you first wake up, take break. One minute, right? Maybe three, but like even a minute to pause, either sit with your feet flat on the ground or go into like a child's pose. I have some clients who I will, they will have a yoga mat just laying right by their bed as a reminder so that when they first wake up, Instead of going right to the phone, instead of going right to the frantic, do a child's pose for 60 seconds and breathe. Let your nervous system regulate. Just notice how your body's feeling. Ask yourself what's racing in my mind. Just check in literally 60 seconds. And then go on your day and the same thing before bed, right? Instead of letting your phone be the last thing you say, sit and breathe for six and 60 seconds is not enough to get you into the parasympathetic. It's not enough to like shift you, but it is enough to get awareness. And like, as you start to do that, you're like, okay, I have a little bit of data. What's going on with me.

Jason Frazell: 38:24

Yeah. The

Amanda Baudier: 38:25

other thing is journaling and like people roll their eyes at journaling. But what I will often give people as a prompt is write to your journal as if somebody who could help you with all your problems was listening.

Jason Frazell: 38:41

Oh, that's good.

Amanda Baudier: 38:41

Today was really rough. I like that. And I just like, I don't know what I want to do about this. Like my daughter's really struggling here, this and you know, I really hope you can help me with this. Right. And it's like. Are you writing to God, writing to spirit, writing to your higher self, you're writing to your, your, you know, in therapy, they talk about the ideal parent, you're writing to the whoever it is, right? Like, put it out there that there could be some form of support. And at the very least, it's a brain dump. And it's a processing.

Jason Frazell: 39:09

I love that.

Amanda Baudier: 39:09

And and maybe it opens, you know, a little portal where you're like, Oh, maybe there is divine assistance, Out there that I actually believe in or that I could access

Jason Frazell: 39:17

Yeah, i'm gonna i'm gonna own something here Not live with you and I in the podcast before we I want to talk about a little bit about your podcast All the ways people can connect with you, but I had an intuitive hit to ask you a question And i'm hoping this is impactful for the audience. I'm just following it amanda. What would you tell? 23 year old columbia graduate amanda. What do you want? What would you tell her and i'm asking you this because i'm guessing you've done this repeatedly based on what you've shared with us Like what would you tell her?

Amanda Baudier: 39:45

It's very interesting and I would, and this is once again going back to my childhood trauma, I, I, there's not much I would say to her. I would sit her down and I would hold her. I would hold her and I would stroke her head and I would tell her that, That she's doing a great job and that, you know, you don't need to push this hard. You don't need, you know.

Jason Frazell: 40:09

Mm.

Amanda Baudier: 40:09

There, there is there is a, a, a, a, a certain, you know, type of person, and I think it's many of us, for whom love was not something we received. Love was something that we secured. Right?

Jason Frazell: 40:23

And there's a

Amanda Baudier: 40:23

big difference from receiving love and then actively securing love. And you know, many spirituals say that people will say that all we're ever really seeking is love, right? If we're seeking success, fame, money, whatever, all we're ever really seeking is love. And so a great, a great kind of you know, giving, and this is my like number one piece of parenting advice, right? And it's like, Like love your children when they're not doing something praiseworthy, right? Like just love them because I, I think what I needed to hear most, but hearing it wouldn't have landed. I needed to feel it. You need to feel it. Yeah. I needed to feel it. I needed to just be held and just have somebody just like, Oh, look at you. Like what a, what a just great little piece of human you are, you know, and

Jason Frazell: 41:08

just me

Amanda Baudier: 41:10

and settle my nervous system. Yeah. Like, if I could, if 23 year old me could co regulate with 40 year old me, should be in a good place. But we don't have anybody to co regulate with, right? And for people that don't know, co regulation is when you're around somebody with a regulated nervous system, it helps you get into regulation, then everybody feels good. But when there's lots of dysregulation and everyone's dysregulated together, it's like, it's a perfect storm. So I would hold her and let her regulate. Beautiful.

Jason Frazell: 41:39

Beautiful. That's so nice. That is, what a, what a brilliant thing. What a brilliant thing for those of us who are listening to that to just do now.

Amanda Baudier: 41:46

Yeah,

Jason Frazell: 41:47

totally. Like, like do that, like do that now. Amazing, Amanda. Wrap up today. Let's talk about let's first talk about your podcast. Yeah, yeah, fellow podcaster. Love that. And then, and then any other ways that people can connect with you?

Amanda Baudier: 41:59

Sure. So the podcast is called full plate, full cup. So you, you can you know, extrapolate. It's about people that have had really, really busy lives and careers and have figured out ways to keep their cups full. So we interview entrepreneurs, executives, creatives, but always on a lens of sort of like, how'd you do it? How'd you either like. Move through the kind of burnout risk, avoid the burnout risk, recover from the burnout risk. It's always with a lens on, like, finding, finding that balance but actually, like, becoming quite successful while being mindful of your mental, emotional, physical well being. So that's full plate. Full cup available, you know, all the podcast places

Jason Frazell: 42:36

and then my

Amanda Baudier: 42:37

website, amandabaudier. com. I primarily do one on one executive coaching, but I do have some more community facing offerings that I'm putting out into the world that are all free, such as free live guided meditations. You know, I, I sat out like journal prompts and I also have retreats twice a year. Yeah, that I, that I do. I, yeah, I look forward to connecting with people who aren't executives because everybody needs this.

Jason Frazell: 43:02

Everybody needs this. Amazing, Amanda. We'll have all that. We'll get all that in the show notes and we'll get people connected to you. And Amanda, I just want to thank you. I was telling Amanda beforehand. Some of the people I interview on this show, and this has been going for over four years now, which is still mind blowing to me. Awesome. Some of the people I have, I've known for years, I've interviewed my wife, I've, she had her interview me. Some people come to me through various channels, and some people just, like, reach out as a genuine human, and, like, you reached out a couple weeks ago, and I'm like, I'm like, My thought was like, fuck. Yeah. And here we are We're both here

Amanda Baudier: 43:36

in Catskills. Yeah, we're here

Jason Frazell: 43:37

in the Catskills with like same age kids. So amanda. Yeah. Thank you so much I will definitely be seeing you and one of your meditations soon. I'm always looking for that Thank you so much for being on appreciate your wisdom today so

Amanda Baudier: 43:46

much. Thanks for having me.

Jason Frazell: 43:47

Thanks. Thanks amanda. Bye.

Amanda Baudier: 43:49

Bye

43:50

Thanks for listening to another episode of Talking to Cool People with Jason Frizzell. If you enjoyed today's episode, please tell your friends, follow us on Instagram and Facebook, and give us a shout out, or take a moment to leave a review on iTunes. If something from today's episode piqued your interest and you'd like to connect, email us at podcast at jasonfrizzell. com. We love hearing from our listeners because you're cool people too.